What Is MGTOW?
MGTOW stands for Men Going Their Own Way. MGTOW is an online movement that communicates via various forums, platforms, and social media sites. MGTOW almost always like to remain anonymous – the vast majority communicate using pseudonyms.
MGTOW see men as victims in modern society. According to the MGTOW worldview, men do most of the work and create most of the value in society. And yet men are treated very much as second-class citizens, while women get extremely preferential treatment. Men are victims, women are oppressors.
MGTOW see themselves as a chosen few who have taken the metaphorical red pill which allows them to see reality as it really is. They have broken free from the delusion that most of mainstream society is trapped in.
Essentially, MGTOW is an anti-female movement. MGTOW hate and fear female nature. Or more accurately, they hate their simplistic, absolutistic, paranoid notion of what female nature is.
MGTOW men stay away from women as much as possible. They don’t date, don’t marry, and don’t have children.
MGTOW Ideas of Female Nature
MGTOW believe that female nature is a destructive force that can cause great harm and that needs to be tightly controlled and managed. They believe that in modern Western societies, in which women have essentially equal rights and freedoms, female nature has been let off the leash and is running wild. MGTOW see this as extremely harmful to men and to society in general.
MGTOW see women as deeply Machiavellian and hypergamous. To be hypergamous means to always be looking to trade up for a better partner. MGTOW believe that females are intensely hypergamous and that this makes them untrustworthy, disloyal, and unable to feel genuine love.
MGTOW believe that while they know the truth of female nature, this ‘truth’ is hidden from the vast majority of men (and women) in mainstream society. This ugly ‘truth’ of female nature is denied and obfuscated by society.
It is the MGTOW creed that women attempt to take advantage of men constantly, remorselessly, and by any means possible. Women use the government, the court system, and men’s own sexual desire as weapons in their attempts to bleed men dry.
“Many women today will rip out your heart and testicles through your wallet, and move on to their next victim with absolutely no second thoughts.” ‘Sandman’, prominent MGTOW YouTuber.
Men Get Better With Age, Women Crash Into ‘The Wall’
‘Men age like wine, women age like milk’… MGTOW believe that women’s physical attractiveness peaks in their early twenties and that they hit ‘the wall’ (which means their looks suddenly and irredeemably deteriorate) in or around age 30.
Therefore, MGTOW believe that a man who is just coming into his power as he moves into his 30s would be crazy to give that power away to a woman who is on the verge of crashing into the dreaded wall.
How Women Trap Men
According to MGTOW, a woman will shit-test a man and behave badly in order to wear him down and turn him into a broken shell of a man that is obedient, easy to control, and will say “yes” to her every wish and whim. A woman will lie, cheat, manipulate, and coerce in any way she can in order to make a man compliant. But ironically, when a woman succeeds in making a man totally compliant, she will tend to then lose all attraction for him. So she needs to keep multiple men hanging around that she can use to meet her needs in various ways.
Women Cannot Truly Love
MGTOW question whether women are capable of feeling love at all. They do not believe that a woman is capable of loving a man in the same way that a man is capable of loving a woman. MGTOW believe women love opportunistically. Whereas a man’s love is pure. They believe that men love intensely and selflessly, whereas women are not wired for this type of intense, selfless love.
The Modern Female’s Gameplan
Thanks to the freedom afforded women by modern contraception and the women’s liberation movement, more women are having more sexual partners before ‘settling down’ now than ever before. MGTOW call this riding ‘the cock carousel’ and unsurprisingly, they frown on it.
According to MGTOW, women ride ‘the cock carousel’ with wild abandon when they are in their 20s, having no strings attached sex with as many hot, bad-boy alpha males as they can. Then when they are about to hit ‘the wall’ (or already have) they cash in their chips and snare themselves a less attractive beta male to provide for them for the rest of their lives.
This beta male provider will be blue pill, meaning he has no understanding of true female nature. MGTOW believe women pick these blue pill betas as provider husbands because they are easier to manipulate due to their lack of understanding of female nature and their lack of alternative sexual opportunities.
According to MGTOW, women have children with provider betas mainly as insurance. When they have children with a man they can safely leave him and be guaranteed to receive alimony and child support for years and years to come.
MGTOW warn against marriage and having children. They recommend that if a man wants to have a child he should go to a country such as Thailand or Mexico and get a surrogate mother to have the child for him. That way the mother has no rights and there’s no risk of the child being stolen by her or of him being taken to court.
MGTOW believe that while all of this is going on, women keep a harem of men around them that they can use in different ways – some for sex, some for gossip, some for ego gratification, some for money. The modern woman can’t be satisfied by only one man, so she will lie and coerce and use multiple men to get her needs met.
Prevention Is Better Than Cure
MGTOW is a form of protection. MGTOW believe that a man who understands female nature is harder to guilt-trip and shame into allowing a woman to take advantage of him and ruin his life. A man who understands the reality of female nature is harder to manipulate and extract resources from.
The NAWALT Myth
NAWALT is a term that inspires snide comments and derision in the MGTOW community. NAWALT stands for ‘not all women are like that’. Most MGTOW believe that men who cry “NAWALT!” are naive and delusional at best, traitors conspiring with the enemy at worst!
MGTOW believe that women who are kind-hearted, decent, empathetic, and care about men are incredibly rare, like unicorns, or perhaps… don’t exist at all.
Who Becomes a MGTOW?
One of the main reasons that many men become MGTOW is because they’ve been burned by women and been taken to the cleaners in the divorce courts. Many middle-aged MGTOW are paying enormous alimonies to their ex-wives.
One suspects that another large section of MGTOW men have very little or no experience with women, have never gotten the attention from women that they crave, and therefore feel inept, frustrated, angry, and resentful… and that this is the main source of their hatred toward females.
The 4 Levels of MGTOW
MGTOW exist on a spectrum. There are four main categories of MGTOW, ranging from least extreme to most extreme.
The Purple Pill Man… He believes that women and relationships are dangerous but often thinks the risks are worth it and gets into relationships anyway.
Level 2 MGTOW… He is willing to have short-term flings, hookups and short-term relationships with women, but he will not get involved in a long-term relationship, marriage, or cohabitation situation.
Level 3 MGTOW… He doesn’t date women at all and he limits his interaction with women as much as possible.
Level 4 MGTOW… He limits interactions with women, the state, and everyone else in society as much as possible. He is ‘ghosting’, which means he is trying to stay invisible to women, the state, and the rest of society. Many men on this most extreme end of the MGTOW spectrum want “men to stop providing love and resources to women on a civilisation-wide scale until society crumbles.”
Problems With the MGTOW Worldview
There is a hard to miss abscess of resentment and pain at the core of the MGTOW worldview. MGTOW seem to feel very hard done by. One can’t help but get the feeling that most MGTOW are just desperately sad, frustrated, and bitter. Perhaps many MGTOW have been very unlucky with the women they’ve met in their own lives. Or perhaps many MGTOW are dark and unattractive human beings themselves, and so have had scant contact with women and are bitter.
There is a stark us/them divide in the minds of MGTOW. They see men and women as opposing sides in a war, as enemies doing battle. This shows a very simplistic and mostly wrong-headed understanding of human evolution and evolutionary psychology. Yes, on some levels we are in competition, with members of the same sex and of the opposite sex – certain games are zero-sum. But altruism is a deeply innate aspect of the human personality. Cooperation and empathy evolved in us because they served us well. Men and women have been cooperating for millennia. Men and women are clearly in this together and we work best together. It isn’t us v them… it’s just us!
There is a highly puritanical and judgemental streak running through MGTOW that reeks of ancient Christian fundamentalism. MGTOW have very rigid notions of how females should behave, how they should be, how they should conduct themselves, what they should do with their bodies. All of this judging and should-ing must get exhausting! MGTOW moral sanctimoniousness is based on fear and frustration-fuelled subjective ideas of how the world ought to be. But who is a MGTOW to tell the world how it ought to be?
Selfishness is an innate human trait also. Women can be selfish, so can men. MGTOW focus on the selfishness in women. That’s fine. But they seem to attach too much meaning to it, to take it too personally. They seem to believe that women’s selfishness is objectively morally bad, that it’s consciously committed, and that women are more selfish than men. In reality, women’s innate selfish tendencies are no more bad than men’s, and neither is objectively bad in any sense… they just are. Most women’s behaviour, like most human’s behaviour, is unconscious… so no need to take it personally, women don’t mean to hurt you – interpersonal relationships can be tough, people get hurt… men and women… that’s life!
Women are no more selfish than men – we all act in accordance with our nature. Men are just as keen and single-minded in their quest to get their needs met as women are. For every woman who manipulates a man into forking over half of his net worth to her after a painful divorce, there is a man who lies to get a woman into bed, gets her pregnant, and then abandons her. Men and women have their lives ruined by men and women all the time.
There is too much bro-science, hearsay, anecdote, and exaggeration in the MGTOW movement. Crude misunderstandings of evolutionary psychology, biology, and incorrect inferences abound. MGTOW men profess to know more about the true nature of females than any other group in mainstream society and yet, by their own admission, they very rarely interact with women in any way, shape, or form!
MGTOW need to meet more women. MGTOW are trapped in an online echo-chamber. Their skewed worldview is validated over and over by other men with the same skewed worldview. When a person becomes indoctrinated into a cult such as MGTOW, confirmation bias kicks in they see ‘evidence’ for their belief everywhere. The more convinced of their worldview they become, the fewer females they interact with, and the more calcified their mind becomes. They have less and less real-world reference experiences that, if they did have them, would soften their stance and open their mind.
Ultimately, humans are remarkably complex and nuanced creatures. All humans, female and male, are capable of beastly and beautiful behaviours. Women can and do hurt men and ruin men’s lives. Men can and do hurt women and ruin women’s lives.
Humans are animals. We have a base animal nature, but we are not only that base animal nature. Humans can and do overcome their baser instincts all the time. Every single day, every single one of us overrides some impulse to do something that our prefrontal cortex decides is not appropriate, not good, not kind. MGTOW paints all women with the same brush. It fails to notice the nuance. It is over-simplistic and unrealistic. It comes from a place of frustration, fear, and resentment.
Let’s hope as many MGTOW as possible can find their way back in from the cold. No man is an island. Women need men. Men need women. We’re in this together.
MGTOW & Feminism – Joined in Hate? (The Ep)
In this episode, we explore two ideologies that have been making quite a ruckus in the social media battlefield in recent years. MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and Third-Wave Feminism are rather extreme worldviews. Their adherents form tightly knit online tribes. The glue that holds these tribes together is a shared hatred for the opposite sex. On the face of it, the MGTOW tribe and the Third-Wave Feminism tribe are mortal enemies. But on closer inspection, are they actually much more similar than they would like to admit? Are they, in fact, two sides of the same coin?
The MGTOW Lens
Men who adhere to the MGTOW ideology believe that the system is rigged. And that it benefits women to the (often dire) detriment of men. They believe that relationships with women fail a cost-benefit analysis and that the risks (such as unfair divorce settlements, and false rape accusations) are not worth it.
So they believe in going their own way, ploughing their own furrow, choking their own chicken. They believe that living their lives free from women is their best option.
MGTOW men believe the system is corrupt and rigged. And that this flawed system encourages women to act badly. It brings out the worst aspects of female nature and for this reason, puts men at great risk.
The Third-Wave Feminism Lens
The term ‘third-wave’ is attributed to American author and man-despising rage-aholic Rebecca Walker. Rebecca’s writing and lectures are all about identity – gender, race, politics, culture. She is a rabid identitarian. (She has a lot more in common with Alt-Right leader Richard Spencer than she would ever like to admit!)
Third-Wave feminists believe that women labour under many layers of oppression, based on their gender, race, class. They believe that the patriarchy is alive and well. That white males live lives of glorious ease and unfair advantage. And that this patriarchal system led by white men is enabling the success of white males at the expense of everybody else, especially women.
Third-Wave Feminists believe in fighting this system by withdrawing their love and cooperation from evil men. And even by engaging in acts of civil disobedience and violence.
The Trouble With Both
Neither ideology has many adherents in reality. They both bark loudly on the internet. But their barks are much worse than their bites. Only a small minority of humans buy into either worldview. Most men and women are eager to enjoy and support the opposite sex. Luckily, cooperation and solidarity between the sexes is still the norm.
Both MGTOW and Third-Wave Feminism are extremist identities built on a foundation of hatred for the other. They see a simplifying picture of the world in which their gender is their main defining feature. They ignore the intricacies, eccentricities and nuances of individual humans. And see a simplified, black and white picture of reality. And being married to a simplified identity – whether its gender, race, or political party, is always risky.
We Are More Similar Than We Are Different
Ultimately, it is a truism of clinical psychology that men and women are much more similar than they are different. Sure, we have gender defined differences – in temperament, interests and sexual tastes – but we are enormously similar in a great many ways also. And you can never judge an individual person’s personality based solely on their sex. There are aggressive women, passive and gentlemen, women who long to sleep around, and men who want to settle into long-term monogamous relationships.
In most areas that matter, there is much more difference between individual members of the same sex than there is between the average of the sexes in general.
So, resist the clarion call of MGTOW and Third-Wave Feminist extremists, and see life and humans as the complex and nuances soup they are. And love and respect your brothers and sisters, and take personal responsibility for your station and actions in life!