Louis Theroux – 6 Ways To Become A Master Conversationalist
Learning to be a master conversationalist will serve you very well in life. You will grow and become wise at a fast rate because your mind will be open and flexible. You will be loved and adored by other people because you will make them feel listened to and appreciated.
Louis Theroux is an example of a master conversationalist. In his BBC documentaries, he converses with a vast and diverse selection of people, who often demonstrate highly unusual personalities. He converses effectively in high-pressure situations, making people comfortable and unearthing their truth in a way that very few interviewers can.
Here is Louis Theroux – 6 ways to become a master conversationalist.
Listen You have two ears and one mouth. Have big ears! Listen well. Dave Rubin, Joe Rogan are excellent examples of great listeners.
Listening to somebody is often the greatest gift you can give them. Empathic listening is a method of listening developed by the great psychologist Carl Rogers.
If people feel heard, because they are being heard, then they will love being in conversation with you. Listening builds a profound connection with other people.
Ask Questions Every person on the planet is interesting in some way. Everybody has something to teach you. If you can’t find anything interesting about a person it says more about you than it does about them.
Asking questions gets people to open up, be real and divulge. Asking the right questions shows that you are listening. You learn when you ask questions.
Stop Needing to Win Or Be ‘Right’ Don’t be rigid, don’t have ego. Make sure you are not needing to appear or feel right or to win when conversing with others. A great conversation is not a battle, it is a shared experience. A good conversation should be win/win, a wonderful collaboration.
Actually Desire To Be Proven Wrong Do not be wedded to your current beliefs. Be curious and open. Do not equate your current beliefs with your essence or worth as a human being.
We all hold certain beliefs that are in fact… wrong. We should always bear this in mind.
It’s perfectly OK to hold incorrect beliefs – it is normal and unavoidable. The problem only comes when you are defensive and unwilling to be wrong. Instead of this, embrace being wrong. Laugh at yourself. Enjoy getting closer to the truth by finding out where you are currently wrong.
Cultivate Presence, Be present.
Be with the person you are conversing with.
Do not get lost in your own thoughts. Especially try not to be lost in thoughts about what you want to say next!
The tension of trying to impress the person we are conversing with tends to make us more self-aware and less present. The irony of this is that the harder we try to be liked, the more tense and distant we are. And so the less likable we are!
Presence gives you VIBE. And a good vibe will make you more likable than any hyperactive jabbering that you could ever do!
Steelman Steelmanning is the opposite of strawmanning. To steelman means to restate a person’s point back to them so well that they themselves say “yes, you have totally understood me, that is exactly what I mean!”.
In order to properly steelman, you must properly understand a person’s point of view. People who can effectively steelman make world-class conversationalists